Finding Joy In The Everyday: recognising the joy you bring and the people who elevate your joy
“Joy is a powerful emotion and harnessing it can be a remedy for stress-related burnout.”
If I asked you to name a few things that bring you joy and the people that uplift you most, would the answers come easily or would you have to stop and think…..like, think really really hard?
Today, I want to talk about something that’s all about good energy – Joy.
Firstly, I wanted to say that we can’t always be happy, it's completely normal to experience a range of emotions, so constantly striving to be happy all the time isn't realistic. However, specifically making a conscious effort to add more joy into your day can boost your mood and overall well-being. Joy can help you feel more peace and contentment in your life. Plus, the best part is that the joy you spread can have a positive ripple effect on the people around you!
Why practicing joy every day matters
Do you remember the last time you really felt joy? That moment when you were fully alive, your chest full of love, cheeks sore from laughing, completely in awe of something you saw or heard? Or maybe it was a quieter kind of joy, like a warm wave of pride, contentment, a little chuckle to yourself, or just a simple feeling of gratitude?
And have you ever felt that disappointment when the joy you were hoping for just doesn’t show up the way you expected?
Sometimes, as a society, we get stuck in this habit of putting off joy. We save it for special occasions like holidays, birthdays, landing that new job, or getting married. We might be looking outside of ourselves for an external event to bring us Joy. Without meaning to, we start thinking of joy as something to look forward to instead of something we can experience now. The spontaneous little bursts of joy can slip through the cracks, and when that big event finally comes around, the joy we were waiting for might feel harder to find than we thought.
I think most of us have had this experience at some point. However, don’t get me wrong, planning for joyous experiences in the future is absolutely important, but maybe we could also start giving a little more attention to the everyday moments and learn to find joy in the most ordinary days and in the simplest moments.
It might not come easily at first, but if you keep trying to create and notice joyful moments throughout your day, it might just bring you closer to feeling more content and help you weather the storms.
How can you create moments of joy for yourself?
There are so many ways to practice feeling joy - even if you are dealing with stress and challenges. One of the easiest ways is to notice and appreciate the small moments around you. You can connect with loved ones, dive into a creative hobby, practice gratitude, spend time in nature, or do something amusing while alone (or with an audience). For some people, routine, rituals, and sameness can be a source of satisfaction & joy.
How you practice joy depends on what makes you smile, what makes you feel good, and your sense of humour; the list is nearly endless.
Here are examples of what others have shared that has brightened their day:
Make up a 4 line song about your pets and serenade them. Bonus points if your pets stare at you like you’ve lost your mind
Feel the sun shining on your skin, warming your bones
Tell your dishes you're going to give them a bath
Turn the dish liquid bottle back upright, give it an extra squeeze for a release of tiny little bubbles. It’s like a mini celebration of cleanliness
Put a vase of flowers you picked on the kitchen table. Give each flower a name and a backstory. "This is Geraldine, the daisy who always wanted to be a rose—rich, luxurious, and adored. But she’s a daisy, and while she’s undeniably pretty, she can’t help but feel like the underdog in the flower world.”
Watch the excitement of a child
Cook and share a meal
Run around the house like you’re in a spy movie when no one is watching. Dramatic slow-motion dive onto the couch for no reason
Successfully parallel parking in one try
Give your reflection in the mirror a “good morning” high five
Watch fireworks
Talk to your plants like they’re your roommates: "Alright, you guys, keep it down, I’m trying to concentrate. Also, someone needs to water the fern— it’s looking a little thirsty."
Grow something in the garden
Be generous with others
Pretend your dog’s paw is a microphone and interview them. Ask them deep philosophical questions like, “What do you think about the state of the world today?”
Learn something new
Make a “thank you” speech for finding your lost keys: “I’d like to thank the universe for bringing my keys back into my life. It’s been a long and painful journey, but now, I’m whole again.”
Look at old photos
Put on clean pyjamas when you change the sheets
Feel the accomplishment of completing something
Help someone
Laugh at your own jokes (even when no one else does)
Notice how you feel? Are there any changes in your mood afterward?
Even if there are times when it’s hard to feel joy, practicing this consistently trains your brain to notice and appreciate the positives in everyday life.
Spread a little joy to others along the way
Giving joy can create more joy. Giving takes many shapes and forms, whether it’s through time, sharing resources, passing on knowledge, showing kindness, helping others, generosity, or sharing aspects of your life that you know will brighten someone else’s day. When you spread joy you get to feel joy too. This positive connection has been shown to have a deep impact on well-being.
By giving, your brain releases neurotransmitters that can reduce stress, enhance mood, and foster social connection. Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are often called the "happiness trifecta" (Eva Ritvo M.D., 2014).
Eva Ritvo explains the health benefits of engaging the happiness trifecta:
“The benefits don’t stop at moods! Serotonin is connected to sleep, digestion, memory, learning, and appetite. Dopamine is connected to motivation and arousal. Oxytocin “the cuddle hormone” is among the most ancient of our neurochemicals and has a powerful effect on the brain and the body. When oxytocin begins to flow, blood pressure decreases and the foundation for sexual arousal is built. Bonding increases, social fears are reduced and trust and empathy are enhanced. Oxytocin is also an anti-inflammatory and reduces pain and enhances wound healing. So if giving allows us to secrete all the chemicals at once, we owe it to ourselves to give as often as possible!”
Take a moment to think about the things that bring you joy. Were any of them focused on giving to others? If yes, you're moving in the right direction.
It’s true - our emotions are contagious!
If you’ve felt the effects of stress and negativity spreading through a group of people (for example, a family or workplace) you might be happy to know that joy and positivity can spread like this too. Emotions are contagious! The scientific term is literally ‘emotional contagion’. Our brains are wired with mirror neurons that help us to pick up on and reflect the emotions of those around us (Hatfield, Cacioppo, & Rapson, 1994).
It matters who we surround ourselves with. Spending time with people who are generally more positive means you are more likely to experience these emotions too. On the other hand, being around excessive negativity can mean you are less likely to be joyful yourself. You can’t always choose who you are around; however, building positive connections with others helps to elevate your joy rather than bring you down. Improving your ability to maintain balance and focus despite external negativity can also be incredibly helpful.
Your joy spreads like a ripple
Joy can ripple through your networks, significantly impacting the people you interact with - and their connections too. When you express joy, you diffuse positivity around you (Fowler & Christakis, 2008).
Cultivating joy isn’t just self-care, it is also caring for those around you. So, if you’re feeling stuck or disconnected, purposefully bringing joy to someone else can help lift you up. Small actions, like sending funny memes, a thoughtful message, acts of kindness, or giving someone a genuine compliment, can start the ripple of joy flowing within and around you.
Want help finding more joy?
If you'd like some support in bringing more joy into your life, I’d love to help. As a clinical psychologist, I can guide you toward practical tips and strategies to help you get started. Feel free to reach out if you're interested in learning more or booking a session, please contact me. You can also find info about fees and referrals, and options like Mental Health Care Plans or self-referrals.