Feeling stuck in a rut.
How small actions can help navigate your mental health back on track
As we find ourselves in an Australian mid-winter marked by short days, cold nights, and heavy workloads, it is common to experience a feeling we know colloquially as being “stuck in a rut.” Think back to the 90s movie Groundhog Day, here the main character, Phil Connors, played by Bill Murray, was literally caught in a loop, each day a repeat of the last. We can start to feel a similar sense of monotony in life, and from time to time, may need support to get us back on track.
We might notice a sense of stagnation more at this time of year, and it's not just because of the weather! Interestingly, our cultural traditions are rooted in the seasons and can be just as significant to our behaviours and well-being as the weather does. This was noted in recent research into seasonal cycles and human psychology by Hohm et al. (2024).
Coming back to the present, we can see that the excitement of summer has passed, the uplifting sprinkling of public holiday ‘gifts’ from January to June has been replaced with the regular 5-day working week, and the annual end-of-year festivities are still some time away. Many people tend to save holiday breaks for the warmer months, so by now, we may find ourselves feeling like we are spinning the wheels yet not getting anywhere.
Thankfully, our year does not have to follow this pattern—there are simple strategies we can use to feel a sense of personal purpose, accomplishment, and progress, no matter what time of year. But first, let’s look at why we might feel stuck.
Why Do I Feel Stuck?
Firstly, feeling stuck at some point, or multiple times in our lives is common. Feeling stuck can be defined in various ways depending on the context, but generally it refers to a state where a person feels unable to move forward, progress, or make decisions effectively.
What is really going on when you feel this way?
Here are just six possible reasons:
1. The Role of Routine
Although routines are important and can provide structure and a sense of security, they can also contribute to the feeling of being stuck. If every day feels the same, it’s easy to feel like you’re not making any progress or moving forward in your life.
2. Roadblocks and Problems
We may have things going on in our lives that are making life feel less rewarding and fulfilling. We can call these pain points or sources of friction, and these things may feel like they are compounding, one on top of each other. Without addressing them, they can contribute to feeling stuck.
3. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that usually occurs in winter. The theory around the physiology behind this is that sunlight affects our mood in a positive way. In winter, when there is less sunlight, our circadian rhythm (biological clock) is disrupted, and our serotonin levels drop. As a result, we can experience low mood and lethargy, making it challenging to break free from an unfulfilling routine.
4. Decreased Physical and Social Activities
Winter often means reduced social gatherings and outdoor activities. The cold weather can discourage people from going out, leading to increased isolation and reduced social interactions, which are important for mental well-being. Reduced physical activity is also linked to lower energy levels and mood.
5. EOFY Work-Related Stress
The end of the financial year in Australia contributes to an increased workload for many people, not only those in the finance sector. This period often involves tight deadlines and high levels of stress. In toxic workplaces, or if you are in repetitive roles with little prospect for career or personal growth, you may find this time challenging.
Becoming Unstuck
Here are some actionable steps you can begin to take to break the cycle of feeling stuck:
1. Identify the Sources of Friction
Friction points can be like roadblocks, sources of stress, and unhappiness in your life. It’s often the things that are not working in your life, and what needs to change or improve.
They often come with many layers and can feel overwhelming when you don’t know what to do, or feel like there is nothing you can do about them. However, when we spend time making a list of the things that are impacting us, we can then intentionally start turning toward these things and systematically addressing them, rather than turning away from or avoiding them, aka head in the sand.
Start by picking just one issue from your list e.g. I’m bored and unmotivated at work. Ask yourself:
Why am I feeling this way ?
How am I thinking about this issue ?
Is there another way to view this issue ?
Is this a problem I can do something about ?
What are the things I could potentially do ? - list as many options as you can think of, then take a step, do not wait until you feel like it, just take one small viable action toward addressing the issue.
Now remember, there are often parts of issues that you have no control over, e.g., how your boss responds to your request for being considered for some different responsibilities at work. However, you can control how you respond to their response! Focus on what you have control over.
2. Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness practice can help limit rumination and negative thoughts by shifting your attention to the present. Many apps and tools, such as Smiling Mind, Headspace, MoodGym, and Insight Timer offer guided meditations, mindfulness exercises, and techniques to help you build skills and resources to cope with challenging periods. Learning ways to move through persistent feelings of being stuck, can help improve your overall well-being.
3. Physical Activity
A great way to boost your mood is through regular exercise. It’s easy to come up with excuses why not to keep active during the winter months, but it’s important to keep active throughout the year, as it is to spend time outdoors! Explore an activity that is most do-able for you at this point in time. It might be a free short YouTube exercise video at home, or a walk slotted into your day. It doesn’t have to cost money, involve a membership, or a whole lot of organisation or travel time. The benefit of exercise and increasing endorphins can help alleviate feelings of low mood and anxiety. It can also help with motivation and coping in other areas of your life like addressing the sources of friction I mentioned above. Even a short walk outside during daylight hours can begin to make a difference.
4. Set Small, Achievable Goals
We can become overwhelmed and feel like we are not getting anywhere when our task list is too much for us to mentally contend with. Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps can support us to feel like we are making progress. Consider time blocking as a strategy for when you are going to get a step done. Realise that multitasking our task list divides our attention and does not make us more productive. There are great benefits of learning to better focus on the specific task we are attending to – rather than multitasking or being distracted by other things.
We also tend to wait until the end of a project to feel a sense of satisfaction or pride in our work. Don’t forget to celebrate the small wins to keep your motivation high, and your mood on track.
5. Try Something New or Resume Something You Used To Do
When we compare ourselves to our children, one thing that springs to mind is the hesitation of adults to try something new. We fear failure; we fear a public shaming (unlikely to occur) if we are not masters of skills we have never learned. Yet, we are strong supporters of our children, encouraging them to try, practice, and try again in similar situations.
Introducing new hobbies or activities into your routine can be the perfect thing to break the monotony and provide a fresh outlook – if you are just brave enough to give it a go. Whether it’s learning a new skill, doing something you used to enjoy but it fell by the wayside, taking up a new sport, or joining a community group, new experiences can reignite your passion and curiosity. What have you been keen to learn or try?
6. Seek Professional Help
Feeling stuck in a rut doesn’t have to define your life. By understanding what might be contributing to these feelings, you can take proactive steps toward improving your situation and your well-being.
If these steps aren’t enough, consider speaking with a clinical psychologist. Telehealth services offer convenient access to mental health support, and a professional can provide personalised strategies to help you navigate through these challenging times.
If you are currently feeling stuck, you can make an online therapy appointment with me at Be and Become Psychology for support in navigating your way forward. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and support along the way.
If you are interested in finding out more about my service or would like to make a booking, please contact me. You can also check out details of fees and referrals, including details of Mental Health Care Plans and self-referrals.