Finding Your Balance: A Guide to Overcoming Burnout and Rediscovering Yourself
In our fast-paced world, where we are always contactable, needed and have a variety of responsibilities and tasks to get to – it is no wonder people are often experiencing symptoms of burnout.
However, 50 years after American psychologist Herbert Freudenberger coined the term "burnout", people’s real-life experience of burnout is still being debated. We’re going to explore the classification of burnout, and look at a holistic understanding of burnout - approaches that consider how feelings of burnout can also arise from emotional stressors occurring outside of the workplace, as described here by Psychology Today:
"Jobs aren't the only source of the chronic stress that causes burnout. Parents, partners, and non-professional caregivers can also experience endless exhaustion, feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities, or secretly believe that they have failed at their role. These forms of burnout are referred to as parental burnout, relationship burnout, and caregiver burnout, respectively". (Psychology Today)
What is the current
definition of burnout?
Burnout is classed as a syndrome by the WHO /ICD-11 where the three main characteristics of include
Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion.
Increased mental distance, negativity, or cynicism related to employment.
A sense of ineffectiveness or lack of accomplishment.
However, this classification system only allows "burnout" in an occupational context, not applied to other areas of life. Decades of debate on the concept and practicalities of burnout mean that, to this day, it is not classified as a medical condition for diagnosis.
As we can see, the dominant research and international standards on burnout are directly linked to the workplace. However, we are now seeing more recognition of the impact of burnout from other compounding factors in our lives, such as managing parenting roles, relationships, and the cost of living. Our workplace may not be the only factor leading us to "burnout."
A recent study by the University of NSW School of Psychiatry and the Black Dog Institute has found that burnout also affects people in unpaid working roles.
Not "just tired" – why parental burnout shouldn't be dismissed
You may look at the classification of burnout and wonder why it doesn't include similar experiences in other areas of our life. Why, if the persistent demands for our internal resources outweighs our capacity to give, even outside of the workplace – is it not burnout too? When we are left exhausted, disconnected, overwhelmed and have been “worked to the bone” in areas of life that are not employment. What about the cumulative stress effect of demands placed on us from a variety of areas in our life?
This issue has been recently explored by the Centre of Perinatal Excellence and Psychology Today when looking at the emotional health of parents. When parenting is the context in question rather than the workplace, we see that the characteristics of burnout - feelings of exhaustion, mental distance, and overwhelm are all apparent.
Whether you are experiencing burnout symptoms from the workplace, parenting, or other caring roles – it is important to recognise when these feelings are not normal for you- especially if they persist; and then take steps (even if they are small steps in the beginning) to address your situation.
What does burnout look like in reality?
If you're unclear on what someone experiencing burnout may look like, let's paint a picture. Meet Julie (she's our fictitious friend, but you may spot some elements in your own story or perhaps a friend or family member currently going through a rough time).
Julie's story: a holistic view on burnout and recovery
Julie is a married 38-year-old mother of three children, aged 4, 7 and 10. Not only is Julie ambitious and driven in her career as a nurse, but she also juggles multiple priorities and responsibilities at home. She navigates school pickups, after-school activities, and household chores. She holds the mental load for the running of the household. Her children are involved in sports, which take up most of their after-school hours and weekends. Julie has found herself struggling to keep up. Additional work responsibilities, having to do more with less staff, and the impact of shift work have taken a toll on her physical and emotional health.
At first, Julie brushed off the signs of burnout. What started with irritability, fatigue, and lack of motivation from stress at work has turned into headaches, muscle tension, and insomnia. Her concentration and decision-making are affected. She’s questioning her abilities at work and feeling anxious.
Outside of work, Julie's personal life is stretched. She feels disconnected from family and friends and feels overwhelmed all the time. She feels guilty if she tries to prioritise doing things for herself, which at this point in time feels like just another task to tick off her never ending to-do list.
Julie knows that something needs to change if she's going to regain control of her life, find balance amidst the chaos, and reconnect with her true self.
Recognising she couldn't continue on this path, Julie reached out to a therapist for support. Through therapy, Julie learns how her mindset and feelings of guilt are one of the contributing factors to the difficulty she is experiencing in getting back to a better balance. She learns how to identify and challenge her unhelpful thought patterns, to set and hold boundaries, be more efficient and productive with her time, prioritise self-care without guilt and manage stress so can cope better with her job and family demands.
Julie gradually implements changes and begins to increase a sense of balance in her life. At work, she starts delegating tasks, holding boundaries and advocating for her needs. She's also reconnecting with friends and family, giving herself a break, and doing things she enjoys without ‘feeling bad’ about it. It hasn't been easy, and at times it’s been extremely tough, but Julie has learned new insights and skills, is emotionally and mentally stronger, and more resilient.
As you can see – although Julie's work was a key factor, other aspects, including family and parenting commitments impacted her burnout situation.
What should you do if you feel signs of burnout?
If you recognise signs of burnout in yourself, here are some steps that you can take:
Acknowledge your feelings: Recognise and acknowledge the signs and symptoms of burnout that you're experiencing.
Reach out for support: Talking to someone you trust can provide validation, perspective, and emotional support when needed.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself as you work through burnout. Treat yourself with care and understanding, as you would for a friend in a similar situation.
Identify stressors and manage your stress response: Identify sources of stress in your life and take steps to address them. Identify what you have control over versus what you do not have control over. Learn how to better manage your stress response.
Review your priorities: Take a step back and reassess. What truly matters to you in your life right now? Adjust your commitments and responsibilities where they do not align. This does not mean you need to give up on your aspirations and goals!
Work on feelings of guilt: self-care activities generally don’t work that well if you're constantly feeling guilty about prioritising your own needs and your well-being.
Set and hold boundaries: Learn how your mindset can hold you back from your best intentions and efforts to set and hold boundaries.
Say no to additional commitments for now: delegate tasks when possible, and communicate your needs assertively to others. Notice if people-pleasing is getting in the way of doing this!
Take small steps: Don't try and do it all at once! You do not need to overwhelm yourself even more. Take one step at a time, making small, manageable daily changes. Be patient with yourself as you take the time you need to get well.
Seek professional help: If you're struggling to cope with burnout alone, consider accessing support from a mental health professional who will share tools and strategies to manage stress, navigate challenges, and support you through burnout.
Where can you get help if you are experiencing exhaustion?
Remember, you're not alone, support is available. By prioritising your wellbeing and seeking support when needed, you can gradually overcome these challenges and lead a healthier, more balanced life.
I offer tailored online treatment and practical tools to help you navigate burnout. If you are interested in finding out more about my service or would like to make a booking, please contact me. You can also check out details of fees and referrals, including details of Mental Health Care Plans and self-referrals.
Your path to recovering from burnout begins when you take action. You can absolutely make changes, even if it seems daunting initially. It’s a process of learning what is getting in the way of making changes and how to manage differently and manage better on a daily basis. This helps to create clarity, confidence and order and put balance back into your life!